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Strictly Savoury

Maude gives her uniform the eggs and beans treatment

Here at Saturation Hall it is regarded as very important that all members of the household regularly gunge test their working clothes, just to be sure. There's nothing quite like the morale boost that comes from knowing, from detailed personal experience, just exactly how your skirt will perform when faced with a deluge of gooey mess.

Which is why Maude the Chamberwench is all smartly dressed in her everyday household working uniform of knee length navy blue uniform skirt, blue check shirt, and plain black leather boots, and very much looking forward to the large quantities of raw eggs, chopped spaghetti, and tomato soup she is about to pour all over herself.

Eggs come first, neatly dropped into the pocket of her shirt, and then placed, whole, into the pockets of her skirt, where she then breaks them from outside, releasing a tide of yolk and white inside her pristine outfit, which doesn't stay pristine for long. More eggs go down inside the front of her shirt, to collect and slosh about at her waistbans, before a final couple of eggs go over her head for luck.

Soup next, poured with great splashes into her lap, drenching her skirt and splattering over her egg-wet shirt too.

And then the spaghetti is added to the mix, great dollops of it poured all over Maude's outfit, and shampooed into her lovely hair.